That's Mr. Bert to you...

Now that I've hired additional muscle to back me up in case of "You know who" looking to muzzle the free press, I'll tell you doggers part two of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Bert.

Now we all read about Bert being a little insecure about being a door mat, well yesterday he took a little puppy to the canvas and managed to clear the park of all comers, except me of course... we journalists have to stay on and report the truth.

Unless its raining hard and we feel we can use something called a poetic licence.

So, there we were, a group of doggers doing our evening Olympic Games of running and wrestle with a good bit of begging for treats and favours; just like the modern IOC now that I think about it.

Bert's alter ego was there, but barely controlling the Bert personality who was obsessed with humping legs. Can't say I've tried that myself, but what ever turns your crank Bert- "We all have issues."

So Bert is getting frustrated at his lack of success humping and decides that he'll boost his manliness on the only other dog his size, a little puppy!

Let me tell you, when the growling, gnashing of teeth, snarling and crying stopped the park was silent.

Bert, buddy, you gotta get yourself some help! Puppy abuse is not cool.

Come to think of it, neither is JJ abuse...

Does somebody need a hug?

The Gaffer